I used to have a beautiful smile once.....at least for a while. And it took a really really long time to get to the point where it was beautiful. I was born with Cleft Lip and Palate which usually results in having a lot of problems with ones teeth because of the formation of the upper lip and jaw area. Since the time I first got teeth I have gone through tons and tons of surgical and dental procedures. You name it, I've probably experienced it. From extractions to appliances and braces I had it all done to make my teeth look normal. So not only did I have to endure over 20repairitive surgeries for my lip and nose (because I have bi-lateral Cleft) I've spent theequivalent of years in a dentist/orthodontist/oral surgeon's chair. I even had some of the best Dentists and Oral/Maxillofacial surgeons working on me. I used to travel to UCLA every month to have dental work. And when I was 18 I was finally complete......and I was so utterly happy with myself for the first time in my life.Along with having a decent shaped nose and minimal scars on my lip I finally had a full set of straight, beautiful teeth. Or so it at least appeared. Because of having braces for so long, along with the fact that I lived on Antibiotics throughout my entire childhood, there was a lot of erosion under the surface of my new and pretty smile. Although my teeth looked nice, my Dentists said I still had a lot of cavities that needed to be fixed before they got worse. We all know that cavities don't fix themselves so there is no where for them to go but down hill.
My mother, who let's face it wasn't the greatest mother in the world (a different story for a different day) felt that since I was 18 now, she had ful-filled all the time and duty that was required of her when it came to my teeth. Yes, she had put in a lot of time to her disfigured child, but isn't that what a mother is supposed to do? But that was a battle I was going to lose and it was now up to me to take care of things. Even when it came to my last dental visit to put in a bridge to make my smile complete, I had to cough up the money for the plane ride to Los Angeles to get it done. I had only just finished High School and worked at Sonic, but I did my best.
And of course, like with all things, life took over. I moved out when I was 19 with the first guy who would have me, just so I could get away from home. He tried his best, but he couldn't fully take care of me the way I had wished anyone (even myself) could. He put me through some college and supported me in any way he could. But, the demons that had been haunting me, and that I never got help with, won and took over. For the next 5 years I would battle a drug addiction that would not only ruin my life, but ruin my teeth as well. Doing a lot of drugs, on top of never having the funds or insurance to finish fixing the dental problems I had to begin with, does not end pretty.
So here I am now, I have been clean from drugs for almost 4 years now (since I became pregnant with my daughter) but the nightmare of my life's past haunts me every day when I look in the mirror. I am 26 years old and my teeth are horrible. I know many people are dealing with this same problem because Dental work is so outrageously expensive, with or without insurance. But I don't know how much longer I can handle this anymore. It's not just that my teeth look disgusting, and I am missing a lot of them (didn't have that many to begin with because of my cleft) but the pain is now excruciating. Not a minute goes by that I don't suffer from headaches, jaw pain, and even nausea from my rotting teeth. I can not take pain killers because I am in recovery so I just have to live with it, although I don't know for how much longer.
The thing that sucks the most is that I have Dental Insurance right now. I went to a Dentist and she said that she could save my teeth! That I wouldn't need to pull them all out and get dentures. All it would cost me is $1,700 with insurance. In a perfect world, I could save up the money and get them fixed, but things are bad for us like they are for everyone and there always seems to be more important bills to pay (and diapers to buy) then getting my teeth fixed. We will never have that amount of money at one time. Not even in our wildest dreams. I've tried to save up and there is always something that comes up that we have to spend our money on. It's like a living hell roller coaster. And of course the cherry on top is that my husband just lost his job and I have until February 28th for my insurance to get cut off. Without insurance I can only imagine how much this dental work will cost me.
I have never reached my hand out for help for anything before. Even when we were starving I never got Welfare or Food stamps. I see so many people going online to beg for money (even for their teeth) and they tell their story of how they ended up where they are. I don't see many success stories of people getting much help from those though. Let's face it, everyone is having a tough time, so how could I expect anyone to help me? But I don't know what else to do but to try to raise funds however I can. I have nothing left to lose and the pain is now un-liveable. I don't want to take painkillers and relapse and I definitely do not want to be toothless at 26 years old. All I can do is hope and pray that someone sees this and spreads the word, and wish with all I have left that someone can help me if possible. And that is what I hope; not for someone to step in and take care of the entire situation, because that is asking for too much and I wouldn't allow it, but for as many people that are willing to just pitch in a little bit, so I can get my smile and confidence back. Even when times are at their toughest I try as hard as I can to help others and give back in any way possible. Me and my husband participate in helping to raise money for several charities, as well as attend fund raisers and walks for causes. We have raised money for AIDS awareness and research as well as for several organizations which help give free surgeries to under privilege children with cleft lip and palate. So I know the power of helping others is strong and exists. I will continue to keep giving back to others for as long as I am able and just keep praying and hoping that there are people out there who can help me as well.
Looking the way I do now just brings me right back to how it was when I was a little girl with a crooked nose and scars on her face. I feel like no one even wants to look at me anymore. I can't smile in public, and job interviews have become a waste of time since no one wants to hire someone with no teeth. Like I said I have never asked for anything before, but if anyone seeing this is interested in helping, I would literally owe my life and happiness to you. Thanks you
